Coping with dating after divorce
In a way, it's another example of guys always wanting to fix things.
Jumping into another relationship or avoiding them altogether are quick fixes which occur when we are either ignore or avoid the inner life.""Guys just tend to bury grief; they don't know what to do with the ugly emotions and therefore think finding a new partner will solve things or just burying ourselves in work will save us," Wong explains further.
When the relationship comes to an insurmountable impasse, how are their responses different or similar?
We checked in with two relationship experts, Cecil Wong and Kanya Daley, to explore how both genders deal with divorce. But are these behaviors really signs that they have moved though the pain of divorce? These behaviors often point to a man's attempt at avoiding his feelings about his divorce."Wong agrees: "In general, men seem to focus on externals (no surprise there): financial and legal matters.
Try to understand the aspects that upset him, which can help you find ways to make the experience easier on him.
If he's worried that dating will cut into your time together, for example, then you might create some special one-on-one time with him.
How do men and women respond to this life event that brings overwhelming, emotional pain?Dating after divorce can be a minefield for the midlife woman.Perhaps even thornier than pondering what to wear on a date, where to go, who pays—not to mention how you even find people to date in this brave new world of Internet match-ups—is getting over your reluctance to take a stab at it. "A divorced woman may feel very vulnerable at this stage, in part because she used to have a spouse to 'protect' her and now she has to go out into the world on her own," says Diana Kirschner, Ph D, author of .Instead, "it's usually clear when you're not ready," says Susan Pease Gadoua, a therapist and author of .That is, "when the very idea turns you off." But you can decide that you're ready to at least try.
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Basic Instincts Daley explains that, "from the outside, men seem to get over a divorce more quickly than women. Many seem to quickly find new partners or simply resolve to not get too close ever again.