Dating someone newly separated
We may be imagining all sorts of problems that may or may not exist or we’re rationalising our own boundaries, values, and even prior experiences of being in one of these situations (so knowing that we may struggle with the emotional consequences) and are thinking along the lines of, ‘Well…
I’m of a certain age so I need to prepare myself for turning a blind eye to any code amber / red actions and indications because people in this age group tend to be recently broken up / separated / divorced‘. There’s no easy answer to the question of what the ‘right time’ is for dating a separated or recently divorced person.
He said things were really bad between then and then had loads to sort out.
I informed him that I wasn’t happy with the way things were going between us and suggested I give him some space which he agreed to.
There are some important situations to watch out for when the guy is not divorced yet.
Most women don’t realize tremendous downside of dating while separated.
You see, I separated from my ex two years ago, and our divorce was final about eight months later.What we forget is that even if a person hasn’t just exited a relationship, aside from knowing our own boundaries (which can rule out certain things that we’ve already made a decision on in advance of), we cannot get all of the answers upfront or have someone tell us what ‘the ending’ will be.Each situation is different but what you can say with a high degree of certainty is that someone who’s just fallen out of their marriage, who’s still in reconciliation negotiations, who’s still very influenced by their spouse, and who has been separated for a long time ‘just because’, is going to bring pain into your life.What you have to keep in mind is that separated is still married until the divorce is finalised and that means that there’s likely to be emotional as well as legal ties.It would be handy if we could avoid the vulnerability that comes with doing the due diligence and taking appropriate action where needed.