Dating love market playing real romance world
Globally, one in five relationships now starts online and the media is full of stories describing happy marriages which started with the click of a mouse.Looking at it from a financial perspective, its estimated that globally the industry is worth more than £2bn.Online dating is now so important to the UK economy that the Office of National Statistics recently added online dating to its basket of goods and services to calculate UK inflation rates.For this feature, we interviewed more than a dozen dating websites, representing more than five million members (although it should be noted that most people using a dating website will set up a profile with more than one company).This explains why more than half of Tinder matches never end up messaging each other.We enjoy the hunt, but not the cutting, slicing and cooking that is required after the hunt is over.Tashiro, a professor at the Center for Addictions, Personality, and Emotion Research at the University of Maryland, has run the numbers and thinks we’re approaching this whole finding-a-mate thing wrong.He urges singles to be more statistical in their approach to the “irrational” world of dating.
Dating should be “about learning to weed out the undesirable traits and rethinking our views about what really matters in a romantic partner.” Our fairy-tale view of romance — 88 percent of adults believe in soul mates — has contributed to the fact that although 90 percent of people will marry in their lifetimes, only three in 10 will find enduring love, Tashiro says. “the nice guy.” Agreeableness, one of the Big Five personality traits in the Five Factor Model of human psychology — the others being extroversion, conscientiousness, neuroticism and openness — describes someone who is “courteous, flexible, trusting, good-natured, cooperative, forgiving, soft-hearted and tolerant.” Sure, it’s unsexy, but it’s the most reliable sign that your mate is a keeper for the long haul.
But the fear that online dating is changing us, collectively, that it's creating unhealthy habits and preferences that aren't in our best interests, is being driven more by paranoia than it is by actual facts.
"There are a lot of theories out there about how online dating is bad for us," Michael Rosenfeld, a sociologist at Stanford who has been conducting a long-running study of online dating, told me the other day.
Make a mental list of attributes you’d require in your perfect mate.
Do you picture a handsome, tall man, with six figures in the bank, a sharp wit, a sweet sensibility and an Ivy League diploma to round him out? That’s because in love, as with genies, we only get three wishes, says relationship expert Ty Tashiro. If you choose mediocrity — the trifecta of average income, looks and height — you’ll have, statistically, only 13 suitors out of 100 to choose from.