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One of the most common questions I get asked about online dating is what to do to get to know and attract a man through the things you say in e-mails or phone calls in order to create interest before you meet in person.

Ok, let’s say you “meet” a man online through e Harmony and start to correspond with him on a daily basis.

When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.

I still feel really unhappy about what he has done.

But if he's describing himself as an "entrepreneur" and refuses to get more detailed or refers to his job situation as "complicated" instead of being up front, that should be a red flag. Either he's seeing someone else and doesn't want to be spotted out with another woman in his hometown, he doesn't see a future with you and doesn't want you knowing where he lives just so he can keep his distance, or he's basically a hoarder and he doesn't want you to see the state his place is in.

If he doesn't have a job, it's understandable that he won't want to lead with that, but if he won't even elaborate when pressed, he either (1) does something shady as hell for a living or (2) is just fine with lying a lot.14. It's one thing if he's being a gentleman and doesn't want you to make a long drive out to see him.

My quick tip is to qualify with a phone conversation first, then meet a guy for a low-pressure or fun “get to know each other” event. Either he's being really forward with you or that "thinking of you" text was only sent to you because he wasn't paying attention.4. You get a text that seems like it was meant for someone else.Take this 60-second reality check quiz from my book "Chatting or Cheating" to see whether it's just chatting or if you're really cheating.The key is whether the 3 S's are present: Shared intimacy, Secrecy and exclusion, or Sexual chemistry. Shared Intimacy · Exchanging personal, intimate, and confidential information (and/or had offline contact) with an online "friend" that your partner doesn't know about?

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It's easier than ever to meet others, stay constantly (and secretly) in contact, get intimate and cheat on our partners.

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